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I’m thinking about getting him into a long term bed, hopefully in the same nursing home. I won’t be able to drive for 4/wks total.
I also have been caring for my mother who had a stroke 5yrs. ago. She is also in respite care so I can recuperate.
what are your thoughts about long term care for my husband? He is incontinent, I just went to tab top protective underwear for him.
Thanks

Your husband needs long-term care, no question about it. With your mother to worry about also, and now your own accident, you have enough on your plate.

The long-term care facility will have a whole team of professional aides to take care of husband. His health will continue to decline, and it's best that he be there.
I'm very sorry you're in this situation, and I send best wishes for your own quick recovery.
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Reply to Fawnby
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It's doubtful you'll ever find a better time to make the transition,
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Reply to cwillie
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Your body needs healing and rest. Take this seriously. Trying to be a caregiver to two people severely limits your ability to look out for your wellbeing. What good would you be to them if your health doesn’t improve or worsens? Keep your husband in care, hopefully mom can do the same. You’ll still be a caregiver, but one who’s rested enough to be their advocate, spouse, and daughter. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Bottom line here is that you matter too in this situation, and if placing your husband long term in the facility he's in now helps you take better care of you, I say by all means go for it.
That way you can get back to just being his loving wife and not his burned out and unhealthy caregiver.
Your mother too needs to get placed long term in a facility so you can just be her loving daughter and not her burned out overwhelmed caregiver.
Brain bleeds are nothing to mess around with and you now need to relinquish your caregiving duties to the caring staff at these facilities where your loved ones will receive the 24/7 they both now require, so you can heal properly.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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What about both of them (your hubs and Mom) in the same LTC facility? You start by getting them assess for needing LTC by their primary doctors or the facility you are considering.

I'm so sorry for your fall... please make yourself the priority. Do you have any help or family members available to you, even if not local? You need to have a plan for the worst-case scenario, which is something more profound happens to you and are taken out of the picture. What will happen to your husband and Mom?
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Reply to Geaton777
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I agree with everyone about taking this seriously and taking care if yourself FIRST, which I doubt you have done in a long time. Depending on the circumstances of your fall and injury, maybe this is a time to look at a change for yourself, such as Assisted Living. Not meaning to dump yet another suggestion on you and overwhelm you, but as you're setting up placement for them, maybe you'll find a place that works for you to move into as well, selling your house if that's a safety risk. But in any case, please do your best to rest and let some others take care of you for a change. Good luck with it all and let us know how it goes, if you have time.
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Reply to MG8522
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I would say, you have them both in respite care just make it permanent.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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My brother is taking care of mom’s care, he’s her POA. I will have to call places tomorrow and see what they can do for my husband, I may wait until another day to do it, I’m just not feeling well. I can’t think about it right now. Maybe when I get some sleep. My husband is 82 and I’m 62, so I’m not ready for assisted living just yet!
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Reply to MissingHim
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You probably need to place both your mother and husband in long term care. If your home is not senior friendly, you might want to consider selling it and moving to independent living yourself.
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Reply to JustAnon
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MissingHim Jun 23, 2026
My house is mostly one level. (Cape Cod style). I am 62, so stairs are not a problem. I could even put the laundry on the first floor easily. There is a bedroom that shares a wall with the bathroom. Easy. In fact, I think I will. I don’t really like to lug the laundry down the cellar stairs.

With that said, I will need a roommate really soon if my husband goes to long term care. I will be alone and I’m not good at that. I will probably need more than one roommate. I have two spare rooms.
The house is paid off, so taxes are about $450 a month. There is nowhere I could live that is cheaper than here.
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Please be very, very careful about finding roommates as you say you are probably going to look for some. There are a lot of people out there that seem very sweet and helpful, but are looking to scam anyone they can or are violent addicts. You need lots of references, background check and IMO a contract via a lawyer. The last thing you need are squatters that bring other people into your home and make your life a nightmare or a new "best friend: that cleans out your valuables or bank account while you are away one day. You may think that it is cheaper to live at home, but make sure you have a concrete of idea of when that is no longer a good idea. There are many people who post here asking for help with a new roof, new wheelchair ramp, etc. It can get expensive making a house safe.
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